Mama Shrink Episode 4 - How to Parent A Strong-Willed Child
Aug 22, 2019
Temperaments of strong-willed children can change at a moment’s notice. One minute they are fine and the next minute they’re angry and defiant. Parenting a strong-willed child is a challenge. I feel for parents, especially single parents, who are doing this on their own. I want you to know that you are not alone.
I’ve dealt with this professionally and personally. A lot of parents come in to see me asking for strategies and coping mechanisms for dealing with a strong-willed child. I also have a strong-willed child myself, Lucas, my 5-year old son and I am going to share this story with you as well.
I hope that the personal experiences, examples and tips I share with you today will give you the strength to keep going. It is something you can manage. If you are equipped with the right parenting style, the best strategies and lots of patience, it is a temperament that you can change. It may take a long time, it may be hard, but it is possible.
- [04:47] Food, diet, and medications may affect a strong-willed child’s temperament.
- [11:52] There are three basic types of parenting: permissive, authoritative, and the best type - authoritarian.
- [21:19] Authoritarian parenting is fair and compassionate. You make sure your child follows the rules. Kids want to feel they are heard so listen to what they have to say but it doesn’t mean that you’re always going to agree with it or that there would be no consequences for bad decisions.
- [23:07] In authoritarian parenting, punishments should fit the crime and you should be firm on it; kids are heard and given a voice but they don’t make the final decisions; and, parents practice a calm temperament.
- [28:09] The big five of parenting the strong-willed child: be nice, set your expectations up in advance, set firm limits, be consistent, forgive. These things may be hard to do but it can help your child immensely.
- [38:09] 5 fast-action parenting tips and examples on how to implement them: 1) Give only 2 choices to your child. 2) Use a timer for kids who need a time limit setting. 3) Use effective consequences. 4) Use time-out. 5) Use positive motivation.
- [44:11] As parents, we need to model good behavior. Kids are very good observers and they learn by seeing what you do. You can’t say one thing and do another. Set a good example.
- [46:22] Timeout is super effective as long as you use it correctly. Here are 5 steps for an effective timeout. 1) Introduce what timeout is. 2) A timeout has to be brief and consistent. 3) Timeout has to be somewhere where there are no distractions. 4) Set a timer. 5) Explain the timeout to your kids.