Episode 26 - The Eight Year Old Blues
Jan 23, 2020
In today’s episode I want to jump into something a little less heavy than what I’ve talked about last week. Well, it’s still kind of heavy for me and maybe for some of you moms listening.
Lately, I’ve noticed a huge transition in my son from turning 7 to 8. But in this episode I will discuss how to not take this personally (even as I cry in the bathroom) and understand the changes they are going through as well. I will end today by discussing warning signs of something more serious that may be going on with your child.
- [01:54] As a psychologist, I’ve worked with children for years but it is so different being on the mom side of things. I know professionally what is going on but as a mom It affects you when you see your little baby turning into a little boy.
- [04:27] We need to decipher what normal development and change vs. a mental health issue.
- [04:51] I know as my son turns eight, it is a defined time. A time in children’s lives where they go through a period of really wanting their independence, where friends are becoming more important, and where fitting in is starting to become part of their life.
- [05:48] Boys tend to shut down and talk to us less while girls may vocalize more about what’s bothering them and say it out loud. When you’re raising boys it’s important to make sure to always engage in conversation. For me, the time right before bed is a nice time to catch up and check in. I get lots of information from my boys during this time period.
- [09:35] I just want moms to know that you are not alone. It can feel sad and upsetting when you are navigating this time period. It’s a perfect time to teach our kids about how their actions can hurt others, without making them feel guilty.
- [11:04] This is a very important time for moms to support and talk to each other because we’re losing our little babies and it’s such a transition. You have less and less control because their peer groups are influencing them way more than what’s going on at home.
- [11:35] You have to continue to set limits, encourage talking, let them have their space, be aware or what they are doing: all while showing unconditional love. Who said being a mom was going to be easy? They need to know that home is a safe place and that no matter what, they’re going to be loved and accepted.
- [13:54] Don’t take everything personally and recognize that this is totally normal.
- [14:20] If you start to see serious changes in your child you should reach out to a mental health professional immediately.
- [15:15] Some of the things to look out for are: long lasting mood swings, very strong lows and very high highs, extreme fears, really strong defiance, physical changes, and extreme inattention and hyperactivity.
- [20:50] If your child is having mental health issues, make sure to seek help from an experienced child therapist and get it addressed as soon as possible.
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